The invisible choice
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They will constantly tell you which is right or wrong. You will hear countless time what should be done and what not. You will live under the shadow of someone else’s expectations and plans that maybe not be exactly yours. They will point you the good examples, the life of others, they will instill you the image of the successful ones, they will tell you what to sacrifice and what is normal. They will ask you to achieve more, will remind you what the accepted model is and how the system runs perfectly.
What if it doesn’t work out? What If you don’t believe them? Do you know what the good thing in all of this is? You can always say NO, you can stop in any moment and do whatever you want to do. You can let go of everything, say goodbye to all the expectations and relieve the load.
Deep inside we all know what we want from life. The moment you decide to stay alone with yourself, to break all the barriers, to crush all the fears and forget all the “What If…”, the moment you choose to delete all the expectations and look yourself right into the eyes…What do you want from your life? What makes you happy? Where are you going and is it your journey? This is the moment when you have to be as brave as possible and painfully sincere with yourself. May be this is the moment that scares you the most, but actually, this is your key to freedom and to the journey that is truly yours.
There’s nothing worst than “living the life of others”. Slowly and imperceptibly sink into what others expect from you and imagine for you. To lose yourself somewhere between the thrust of being the perfect partner, the ideal parent, the good child in the family, the dedicated friend, the superstar in your career, the one with the interesting hobbies and fascinating life on Instagram.
It happens. And it’s not scary. Exactly the opposite –thank you thousand times, dear universe, for deciding when and what situations to choose for us, what kind of people we have to meet, so that we actually lose ourselves. And then we can stop, look around, be silent. Let’s say some truths and forgive ourselves. Let’s forgive If we haven’t loved ourselves enough, If we didn’t listen to the thin, timid voice that told us what to do and where to go. This may take a while, it will not happen overnight, it may hurt, we may be pulling or we might be afraid, but we cannot escape. Which, in fact, is wonderful. Because we can only turn to ourselves, find ourselves and restart.
Everyone has a different DNA. The more clearly you see what yours is, the easier it will be to see the direction. It may not be what you expected it to be, it may be different from what you have been saying it should be. Just look at it. And accept it. Trust your intuition, trust your instinct, your soul. If you do not look for the answers yourself, no one will give them to you. The reality we live in and the models we bring from the family and the environment inevitably fix, shape or even distort us. Perhaps no one has taught you how to recognize what is best for you. Perhaps no one told you that you should listen to yourself, rebel if needed, do not care what the others will think, do not care if you will disappoint someone, do not feel guilty if you just choose to leave people, situations, and events when everything seems to be alright, but you don’t feel that way, your energy gives you other signals.
Then, when choosing to take care of oneself, put yourself first – then the right things for you start happening. And this has nothing to do with egoism, it does not mean that you will hurt someone that you will lose something.
But even so – life continues, everyone has his lessons coming at different times, some are easier, others less. People will come in and out of your life, there will be new beginnings and there will be finals. And there is nothing more certain than that. Somewhere there is the balance between the two key moments – not to cling to what you have or desperately want to have and at the same time to remain open to the new and the unknown. Let it be unpredictable and unexpectedly different – how do you know it will not be better? Would you choose to stay in the familiar, but unhappy, just because of the past that led you here?
We are taught to trust the visible, tangible, verifiable, logical and explicable. We have learned to take into account so many factors and to go along trampled routes that sometimes lead to dead streets for us. And there is so much beyond these limits, beyond this knowledge. And if to get there, you have to throw the road map, break your head into the wall and turn off the navigation … do it! Lose yourself. Let it hurt. And then heal yourself. And then took the next step following your own compass, carrying only what you need the most, looking only straight ahead.